Rethinking Our Wedding Song

A song played over the radio that sounded very familiar.  About ten seconds in I realized what song it was and felt mildly embarrassed that it had taken me so long to recognize it.

The song had been sung at our wedding.

My initial reaction was one of nostalgia.  Derek wasn’t with me but I wished he had been.  We would’ve had “a moment”.  Reminisced a bit about Back Then.  Back Then when we thought we knew it all and had it all figured out.  Back Then when we were so blind.  Blinded by love.  Love that we were unaware could ever be any deeper or more true.  Convinced that it would always be pure bliss.  Instead I had an inner “awww” moment.  Then I began listening to the song.  My inner awww turned quickly into a nearly outward what?!

I wonder what God was thinking when He created you.  I wonder if He knew everything I would need because He made all my dreams come true, when God made you He must have been thinking about me.

I remember the first time I heard the song.  A very dear friend who lived two dorms down from me shared it with me while Derek and I were engaged.  I immediately loved the song and made the decision that it would be sung at our wedding.  It was an absolutely perfect song for our wedding!

As I sat in the car and listened to the lyrics I was a slightly embarrassed that we had it sung at our wedding.  It’s simply not true.  There’s no wondering if God knew everything I would need.  He knows.  He knows what I need better than I do.  He knows what I need before I know I need it.  He knows needs in my life that I am unaware of.  He is God.  He is sovereign.  He knows.  Furthermore He was not thinking about Derek when He made me nor was He thinking about me when He made Derek.  We use a little book titled My 1st Book of Questions and Answers to teach our boys catechism.  {We also use these Questions & Answers cd’s. The boys love them!  I recommend!}  One of the very first questions in the book is:  “Why did God make you?  To glorify him and enjoy him.”  When God made me, when God made Derek, He was thinking about Himself.  I was made to glorify God.  Derek was made to glorify God.  I do believe all of my days are planned by God.  He knows all things past, present, and future so when He made me He also planned who I would marry.  However, my reason for existence is not my spouse.  My reason for existence is to glorify God. I can most certainly do this in my marriage.  I pray I do!

I found grace in the fact that these lyrics did not sit well with me.  Grace because when I put that song on my wedding program I believed it.  I lived out of that.  If the first years of our marriage were a reality TV show you would see it plainly.  I believed that my dreams were coming true because God had made Derek for me.  Derek was there for me.  It was all about me.  Me.  Very shortly after the wedding my dreams didn’t play out in reality as they had in my head.  Derek didn’t fit into the mold I had made for him.  Derek failed me.  He wasn’t always there.  It wasn’t all about me.  Turns out Derek wasn’t a good savior after all.  He didn’t make all my dreams come true.  Because he was never meant to.  He wasn’t made for me.  He was made for his Maker.  It’s all God’s grace that I see that now.  Years passed before I was even aware of this.  Earlier I said we were “blinded by love”.  It’s true that we were blinded by love, love of ourselves.  I see this now but I still fall prey to the lie that it’s all about me.  Even on my best days I’m tempted to believe that God was thinking of me when He made my husband and I live that out in the way I talk to, expect from, or look for security in Derek.

I have an amazing husband.  He is so patient with me even in my selfishness and greed.  We’ve been married nearly eight years and oh, how we have grown and changed since the day we said ‘I do’.  We look back now and feel detached from Back Then as if it wasn’t really us.  Thank God it’s not who were are today.  My hope and prayer is that eight years from today I can say the same about today.  God may not have made Derek for me but He gave him to me.  My husband is a gift.  My marriage is all God’s grace.  John Piper quotes Dietrich Bonhoeffer in his book This Momentary Marriage saying,

“Welcome on another…for the glory of God.”  That is God’s word for your marriage.  Thank him for it; thank him for leading you thus far; ask him to establish your marriage, to confirm it, sanctify it, and preserve it.  So your marriage will be “for the praise of his glory.” Amen.

Indeed, I was made to glorify God.  Derek was made to glorify God.  Our marriage should be one that brings glory to God.

I don’t mean to bash this song.  It really is a pretty song and our friends who sang it in our wedding did an outstanding job.  I understand that it’s meant to be a love song and perhaps I am thinking too deeply about it.  I don’t doubt that the singers {who are Christian artists} would argue the fact that we were made to glorify God.  However I haven’t been able to escape these thoughts.  Maybe I simply needed to be reminded.  Reminded of the immense grace that God has given me.  Reminded of the very thing I drill my kids on, I was made to glorify God.  Reminded that my marriage isn’t about me, rather it should be all about His glory.


One thought on “Rethinking Our Wedding Song

  1. Love your thoughts…thanks for sharing. I am totally guilty of analyzing song lyrics. I think it is important that we do think a little deeper about them sometimes, because songs stick in our minds and sometimes the messages attached to them aren’t what we are should be holding on to.

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